Fifty Shades of purple, orange, blue, green, red, etc.

To my darlings….and you know who you are:

Every year at this time, I long for you. I want to feel your comfortable caresses around my neck, my arms in yours and your delicate, soft touch on my body. But it’s too soon. I have to wait. I always think that our meetings will occur soon after the first of September but alas. It never happens.

All I can do is visit you…and I do. Sometimes I touch you but that makes the longing worse. You smell so good. I put you to my face and inhale deeply, taking in that sweet, sweet smell of Bounce. Usually I start with purple …..then on to orange and if I’m not spent by then, I might pick up the dark green. The way you hide my faults…you are so good to me. You cover up my turkey neck, my saggy arms…..oh be still my heart! But as Cole Porter would say, at the moment “it’s too hot not to cool down.” So we wait…..

There are by all accounts a lot of you. Too many, in fact. And yet, when the fall catalogues arrive, and the descriptions of the new styles and colors show themselves, I am once again helpless. A little extra spandex, a slight curvature at the waist, the offer to buy three and save a little money. Yes, yes, yes! Call Lands End and get it done. The sooner, the better. Even the new stripes which I know will make me look like a prison inmate.   I want them and I want them now!

But wait I must! Turtleneck sweaters and 90 degree weather are not a good mix. But soon, my darlings, soon. The pent up desire will find release! I’ll slip you over my head, tuck you into my jeans and off we’ll go……together again. At last.