His and Hers

We’ve been married for many years. There are things on HIS side of the closet that have been there for every one of those many years. And I know for a fact that there were things that came with him…sort of like a dowry but not really…..with an edge of age and patina already on them. Who knows how old that stuff is now?

Conversations between us about “buying new things” have been occurring for all these years. Usually to no avail.

Example:

You really need a new pair of loafers.

No, I don’t.

Yes, you do.

No, I don’t. These were just re-soled (again) five years ago. They’re perfectly fine.

End of conversation.

You can substitute any item of clothing for the loafers…..khaki pants, tennis shorts, button-down shirts, polo shirts.   The answer will be the same; only the reason or the excuse will change. New is just not going to happen.

Aggravating, annoying, frustrating, useless conversations. We should have made a tape and played it on appropriate….or inappropriate….occasions. Could have saved a lot of emotional energy.

But something’s different now. No, he’s still not going shopping. Yes, many of the things hanging in the closet are seriously frayed and faded.

Yes, we still have the conversations and, no, they’re still to no avail. But, for some reason, I now find them comforting. I know what to expect. I know he’s not going to replace those beloved and well worn things and it doesn’t matter. He’s happy with his old things, his old loafers and polo shirts, his familiar and well-loved stuff.

And besides, that may be an indication that he’s still happy with his old wife, frayed and faded though she may be. I sure hope so.