HISS

David DiBenedetto from Garden and Gun magazine says that dog people are the best kind of people. He’s welcome to his opinion but them’s hissin’ words if ever I heard ‘em.

He’s can take a swat at me but there’s an insinuation regarding my cats in that statement that I don’t like. At all. I’d sic my cats on him, but they’re asleep and have no interest in what others think. See, they know, I mean they really know, that they rule. So why does anyone else’s opinion matter?

It matters to me because I am devoted to cats and have been for over 50 years. Never had one I didn’t love to bits and pieces. Now, I know that dogs do things like deliver your slippers (good dog) or your newspaper (good dog). Cats do, occasionally, bring you the newspaper, but by then it’s been clawed and shredded into, well, I hate to say it, but into bits and pieces.

We have an obsessive-compulsive Cat. If, in his opinion, there is something on the kitchen counter that doesn’t belong, off it goes. (You’re telling me your cat gets on the kitchen counter? With his feet?? Yes, they all do.)

It’s best if the out-of-place object has something in it…water, wine, .…or is breakable (that’s the very best).   But he’ll settle for anything. A jar of vitamins, a magazine. Bad Cat, we say. Why bother? He doesn’t care.

Lest you think poorly of this Cat, he is also the one who refuses to eat until both he and his food have been blessed. His idea, not ours.  He was a stray, picked up entirely by accident by the Humane Society. He has set his own rules, trained us well and we behave accordingly. He’s a charming boy.

Any book about cats…and there are lots of them…. will tell you that if you have a cat in your house, a statue is unnecessary. There is such incredible beauty in their sleeping, dozing, stretching, just being Cat.

To say nothing of the joy finding Cat tucking himself into your arms in the middle of the night when you can’t sleep. A purr is worth a thousand Ambien.

I know. You don’t need to tell me. I’m a little compulsively-obsessed. Just like Cat. I like it that way. I’m pretty sure my cats do, too.

At least during those short periods when they’re awake.