We always say that when something new comes along to make life better. Easy is the big sell. And so it is with my jazzy new car.
It came with bunches of bells and whistles, beeps and whimpers. Most of which I neither want nor understand. They scare me, truth be told. But, and this is a big but, I am quite enamored of my new gas tank.
The latch to the tank on my old (sweet and beloved) car always stuck. Then, the cap needed pliers to twist it off. The Mister Rube-Goldberged a fancy tool for me, out of a beer can no less, which helped a bit.
But now! Voila! The new car’s gas latch opens with the touch of a finger and there is no gas cap. It’s revolutionary. And just that easy.
It reminded me of an old ditty which my father, a kind and gentle man of word and deed, told me years ago. I quote it here because it has relevance to my gas tank. (Warning: it has a word or two than may offend. So, stop right now if you’re afraid.)
The little poem praises and extols a similarly revolutionary product of almost 200 years ago: Borden’s first can of condensed milk.
It goes like this:
Here by the kitchen sink I stand.
A can of Borden’s in my hand.
No tits to pull,
No tails to twitch.
Just stick a hole in the sonofabitch.
Fast forward 200 years: different product, revised ditty, same joy.
Here by the gasoline pump I stand.
A snaky nozzle in my hand.
No latch to pull,
No cap to twist.
Just stick a hose in the sonofabitch.
How easy is that?