We really do try to lead a peaceful, law-abiding life. One that doesn’t rattle any cages or ruffle any feathers. But sometimes it just doesn’t work out that way.
See there’s an animal that’s living in our yard making strange crop-like circles in the pine straw and grass and we think it’s an armadillo but we’ve never really seen it so we’re not exactly sure what it is so we borrowed our neighbor’s have-a-heart cage with hopes of trapping whatever it was to move it away so it would quit doing damage to our yard but we trapped a raccoon instead and now we had the problem of where to take the raccoon since we couldn’t just open the trap and let it stay here because of the potential danger to the precious chickens next door so my husband took it way way way way down the Route 46 and released it into to what he thought was the wild but apparently it wasn’t wild enough and a woman who lived nearby saw him and followed him all the way home for several miles and pulled right into our driveway and got out of her car and gave him the what-for for releasing the raccoon into her neighborhood and told him he was guilty of trespassing and catching a wild animal and releasing it where he shouldn’t have and she reported him to the Beaufort County Sheriff’s office and she went on her way and then in a couple of minutes the Deputy Sheriff pulled in our driveway and my husband held his hands up high and told her he was guilty as charged but he thought he was doing the right thing for the animal and the Deputy told him that she would not report him to the DNR this time but if she did he could be fined close to $1,000.00 for his offenses so after all of that we decided to skip town and go down to Jekyll Island and we had lunch which was a complete disaster because my husband never did get the correct or even remotely edible food that he’d ordered but even though he was still hungry we changed our clothes and went down to the beach to relax and they said that renting a beach umbrella would cost $30.00 for a measly little two hours which seemed a bit pricey but we needed an umbrella since he had just had a little thingy removed from his face and the doctor said to stay out of the direct sun for a few days but it turns out they were totally out of umbrellas anyway and they also didn’t have any more chairs but they said we were welcome to sit on the sand so I said let’s go home and we did.
Momma said there’d be days like this.