Our Hometown Newspaper

I guess we’re lucky to still have one.  Some days it’s so thin, the Mister says he could shave with it.

I understand I’m in the minority but I still want my physical paper in my hot little hands every morning and I’m not happy if it’s not there by 6 am.  I need the feel, the smell of newsprint and the gentle sounds of turning pages.

The Island Packet is sustained, by and large, by ads extolling the modern miracles of health care, thus providing a clear picture of the paper’s target market.

Full page advertisements for new and supposedly improved hearing ads are common. Sometimes, the ads are four full pages!

We’re bombarded with ads for stem cell treatment for nearly everything that ails us.  Most of it due to our aging bodies.

Quick fixes for varicose veins and sagging arms are usually right next to the obituaries. Cataract surgery ads catch our eye.

Then there are the walk-in bathtubs, designed to save us from disastrous slips, falls and the horrors of broken hips.   They promise one-day free installation if you “Act Now!”  Operators are standing by!  Offer ends soon!

We don’t believe the ads for one minute but we’re grateful for the revenue stream that keeps our paper alive.  Everyone needs a little life support.

But just this morning, there was a new advertisement.  Of sorts.  The headline reads: “Rise and Walk!”

Yep, the old time revival tent is back.  Come one, come all. Everyone is welcome. The lame will walk; the blind will see; the deaf will hear.  All it takes is a little faith.

At this point, if I had to put my money someplace, I’d put it on the tent.  Prayer and belief have been around a lot longer than stem-cell treatments and hearing aids. 

And they’re a whole lot less expensive.