Stop The World. I Want To Get Off !

That’s always how I’d feel when we’d go to King’s Island, Ohio’s answer to Coney Island.    I went on those outings, not enthusiastically but agreeably.  After all, theme parks are fun.  Aren’t they?

How you answer that question depends on your tolerance for noise, crowds, and big scary rides.  I, personally, have none.  For any of those things. Nada. But we went anyway because that’s what families do.

Families also vote and I have wanted nothing more than to get off the scary vote-counting ride that was our life last week.  But there we were.  In our very own amusement park.  We’d paid our money, put in our two cents and we were going to stay until it was over.

If we’d actually been at King’s Island, we could have ridden the Beast, the world’s longest wooden roller coaster.  Heart pounding ups and downs. Everyone screams, of course. That’s what you do on roller coasters.***

Then, we might pop over to Sling Shot, which launches its riders backwards, 360 feet in the air at 100 mph.  Once you get to the top, it’s head-over-heels time. Over and over. And over. Nauseous.

Delirium, they tell you, will spin you in a 240 degree arc to 137 feet in the air.   Not sure how down happens.  They don’t say.  They also warn that this one is not for the faint of heart.  As if the others are.

Tidy up your day at Drop Tower which zooms 275 ft. in the air.  Then the bottom drops out (of course it does) and you free-fall for 126 stories. All at a rate of 70 mph.

I went back to King’s Island this week. Virtually, of course. I never left the house. I simply turned on the television and hopped on all those rides. One right after the other. I shut my eyes, tight. Sweat poured down my back. My stomach went up and down. My heart skipped beats. I screamed.

All I wanted was for it to be over. But, I must admit it, was one helluva ride.

***You can take a virtual Beast ride at this site.  The old wooden structure is really quite beautiful and fun as long as you’re watching from the safety of your home. The clackety-clack of the wheels on the inclines is quite wonderful. Even soothing. It’s just this click away.

Takin’ the ride drawing thanks to