Dear Doctor:

I’ve been experiencing some very strange symptoms recently. To make matters worse, many of them occur on a near-daily basis. They’re more than a little annoying. They’re really quite concerning. I hope you can help. 

Here’s what’s going on: 

On many days, my head feels like it’s swimming and my eyes often glaze over. Sometimes my teeth clench and my jaw frequently drops. 

On other days my stomach aches, my gut churns, bile bubbles up from somewhere inside me and I get nauseous.

Sometimes my knees knock, my toes may curl, my eyes fill up with tears and my heart becomes heavy.

All of this makes me very irritable, sad and somewhat difficult to live with, as I’m sure you understand. 

Any and all help with the above afflictions will be much appreciated.

Yours, in distress,

Sallie

Dear Sallie: 

You are not alone.  I’m hearing of many similar situations and symptoms..  There appears to be no quick cure.   But in the meantime, may I humbly suggest that you turn your television off, stop listening to and/or reading the news, stay hydrated and be sure to eat plenty of chocolate. This last suggestion is entirely up to you but chocolate is known to have a relaxing and calming effect on many of us.

If you do all that, I think you may feel better.

So, hang in there, stay calm and think good things about our country. 

Yours, in good health,

Your Kindly Doctor.