The WIZARD Of WAZE

We rate WAZE at the very top of our life-style computer assistants. Just plug in your info and follow its little brick road. It tells you everything you need to know for an angst-free trip.

On a recent trip, we asked….and received….excellent directions from point A to point B.  We wanted the bi-ways instead of the high-ways.  WAZE was happy to accommodate and we travelled for over 150 miles on back roads that were tree-lined, nearly empty and delightful.  It brought back memories of the years we each travelled with our parents from our respective homes to the place in Georgia, where we ultimately met.  Over 65 years ago.

Those memories, not-so-pleasantly, also carry with them the overwhelming smell of gasoline, the discomfort of un-air-conditioned cars, the parental tension of getting lost…a lot…. and the hours and hours of wondering when you might eat or attend to personal needs.

We decided we didn’t miss a bit of that part.  However, we both remembered with fondness the Burma-Shave signs, long out of existence, which popped up along the landscape.  Planted about 100 yards apart, some were amusingly product driven, touting their brushless shaving cream; others reminded us to drive carefully or pay the price.  Either way, they were bright moments in what were long, seemingly endless, trips.

And so, Dear Reader, if you’ve never had the dubious pleasure of pounding down southern back roads, in the middle of the summer, sitting in the back seat of the car while one or both parents chain-smoked, temperatures in the 90’s with no relief in sight, I give you a small sampling of those wonderful Burma-Shave signs.  They made us smile all those years ago and I hope they bring a smile to your face at the start of this New Year. 

THIS CREAM MAKES……THE GARDENER’S DAUGHTER……PLANT HER TU-LIPS…..WHERE SHE OUGHTER

A NUT AT THE WHEEL…..A PEACH ON HIS RIGHT….. CURVE IN THE ROAD……FRUIT SALAD THAT NIGHT

CATTLE CROSSING……PLEASE DRIVE SLOW……THAT OLD BULL……IS SOME COW’S BEAU

BEFORE I TRIED IT……THE KISSES I MISSED……BUT AFTERWARD—BOY……THE MISSES I KISSED

USE THIS CREAM……A DAY OR TWO……THEN DON’T CALL HER……SHE’LL CALL YOU

If you wish, a site for more of these ditties is http://burma-shave.org/jingles/. But, fair warning:  They can be addictive.  Silly is the order of the day.  Seriously, could you ask for anything more?