(Click on picture for the full image)
Setting: A beautiful day on the May. Blue skies. Serene river. Funeral in process at the church next door, bells pealing, once for every year of the deceased’s life. Always a sobering and thoughtful time.
Cast of characters: (in no particular order of importance.)
A. Yours truly.
B. Next door neighbor.
C. Husband of yours truly.
D. Husband of next door neighbor.
The curtain rises.
A and C are quietly counting the chimes from the funeral, hoping they’ll reveal a life lived long and well.
Phone rings in A and C’s house.
B: (screaming) “Snake! Big, great big snake in hen house.”
A: (screaming) “Call Critter Management or the Police! Right Now!”
C: Having overheard the conversation: (how could he not?) “I’ll be right over.”
A: “No, no, no. We need to call Critter Management. Or the Police. That snake could be poisonous.”
C rushes to scene.
B and C take a careful look at snake in coop. A peeks around edge. Big snake…great big snake. At least 20 feet long.
A: “I’ve never seen a snake that big. I really think we better call Critter Management. Or the Police.”
B and C assess situation. Discuss options.
A: “None of this is good. At all. Call Critter Management or the Police. Now.”
B gets a shovel.
C gets a shovel.
B and C trap snake with shovels. Snake continues to writhe.
A. “This is very scary. Can’t we just please call Critter Management? Or the Police?”
A: To D: “Thank goodness you’re home. As you can see, we have an extremely dangerous situation on our hands. B and C are ignoring my advice to call Critter Management or the Police. Perhaps you can get them to listen to reason.”
D gets a nasty, sharp-edged thingie from his tool shed.
B, C and D trap snake with their various tools.
A: “You people are going to get bitten. I just know it. You are going to be very, very sorry that you didn’t call Critter Management. Or the Police. And I’ll be right here to tell you that I told you so.”
B, C and D suggest that A either go home or join the chickens who have been shooed out of the coop and are running around in circles.
B, C and D finally do in snake….big snake….great big snake.
Bells still pealing at church. Disconcerting but fitting as now there are two who are deceased.
D attempts to corral chickens back into coop. No go. They saw that snake, too.
B, C and D put snake to rest.
Anyone want to come by for sip of wine later on? The water’s lovely.