The Dark Side of Life on the May

Just when I thought I’d run out of things to write about, the Hilton Head Island Packet delivered an inspirational care package. Perhaps you, who live here, saw the article I’m referring to in the Crime Reports section earlier this summer.

It concerned an altercation at Brighton Beach between a tattooed-man and an un-tattooed-man.

We are told in the police report that the un-tattooed one approached the tattooed one and informed him that he had a misspelled word in one of his many tattoos. The tattooed one took exception to the criticism and punched the un-tattooed one in the face. The tattooed one then took off, leaving the un-tattooed one with a seriously swollen mouth and several loose teeth.

The tattooed one remains at large.

Many issues and questions also remain at large.

First, there’s the matter of the misspelled word. The un-tattooed may have been correct in addressing the issue but correct does not always equate to smart.

Second, how can the tattooed-one remain at large since, according to the report, his entire body is covered in ink? Surely, in this hot weather, there are body parts exposed that should be easy to identify. Especially since there’s a grammatical error on one of them.

Third, one of the parties was an Islander; the other was a Blufftonian. Are we talking major cultural differences here or was this just a one-time, punch-‘em-in-the-face, get-it-over-with kinda thing?

Fourth, do we imagine that beer was involved? Perhaps too much beer? Nah….that’s not an issue or a question. That’s a given.

Finally, it’s clear I’m going to have to start reading the Crime Report on a regular basis. I’ve occasionally been tempted to cancel our subscription to the Packet but I’m renewing for a lifetime. It’s just way too much fun.